Cross Creek Blogs

2 Responses to “Students Experience”

1. Whitney Mountain, on February 20th, 2010 at 12:32 am Said:

   Hello to everyone at Cross Creek!

   I hope that you are all well and opening your hearts to all of the wonderful things the program has to offer.

   I know that many of you must have recently enrolled at CCM and are unhappy, angry, and terrified. Please know that I understand these feelings and that they, although I know you won’t believe me, will pass as soon as you let them.

   My time in the program started in June of 2005, right after my junior year of high school, in which I failed most of my classes–save for French and Drama. I was abusing any substance I could get my hands on, I was terribly overweight, although no longer obese, and my mother had been hospitalized for her severe bi-polar disorder and substance abuse. Earlier that school year, I had attempted suicide, had promiscuous, unsafe sexual behaviors, and no will to live nor a belief that my life had anywhere to go but down.

   When my dad found Cross Creek, he told me that I would be going for two months to make up some course work, so I ended up actually driving myself in the rental car to the gates of the program–the epitome of all ironies if you ask me.

   Once I was inside and had gone through the intake process, I realized I hadn’t understood the gravity of my situation. Eventually my HOPE buddy told me that my dad had lied and that I would be there for as long as it took. I was furious, scared, and felt like I would never leave. A year, let alone the two that I actually stayed, seemed like an eternity–literally, I thought it would never end.

   As time went on, I started getting acclimated to the rules (meaning they actually started making sense) and understood why they were in place. Although I definitely didn’t follow them perfectly, the program’s interconnected recovery plan including group and individual therapy, seminars, rules, accountability, and structure gave me the power to choose what was best for me.

   As I began to succeed in the program, I started to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I started to realize that I could do well if I made certain choices, and that if I didn’t make such choices, consequences would apply.

   When I turned 18, I decided to stay. And I know many of you think I am nuts and that you’re going to be bursting at the seams to be freed from Cross Creek, but if that is how you feel, my heart breaks for you. Girls, and boys if you’re listening, you have been given life, you have been given an opportunity to explode with potential and let yourself shine and benefit every life you touch. And it isn’t even complicated–not that it’s not hard, because it is. Forming new habits, especially the kind that are life-changing, is the hardest thing to do. But the good news is that you don’t have to be a rocket scientist–all you have to do is make a series of good decisions.

   Anyway, this all has a point, I promise.

   I am writing you today from Eugene, Oregon. It is perhaps the second or third largest city in the state of Oregon, and it is composed of mostly people who still think it’s the 60’s (i.e. it is the Hippie-st place on Earth). And I am one of around 20,000 students at the University of Oregon and one of the few who don’t drink, do drugs, or many other things that would compromise my ability to soar.

   I have been sober for a little more than four and a half years now, I have only gotten two B’s in college (no matter what I do or how hard I try, math will never make sense to me) the rest of the grades I’ve earned have been A’s, and I still have a very close and healthy relationship with my dad. My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years and plan to get married after graduate school, and I have best friends, who, while not in recovery, value healthy life choices and support me fully in my life-long recovery from all of the self-destructive behaviors I engaged in before going to Cross Creek.

   As a senior majoring in Journalism and Communication, I have been preparing for life after my bachelor’s degree, but newspapers are “dying” (an overreaction but whatever) and the economy has left a ton of people with more credentials than me jobless. My solution was to apply to graduate school not only because of the economy, but also because I wanted to honor my success after the program and in my college career with achieving as much as I can.

   I applied to four schools: the University of Oregon, the University of Washington in Seattle, Columbia University in New York City, and Stanford University in Palo Alto, California. The two former are state-schools that are less prestigious but still high-quality, and the latter two are long-shots because Columbia is Ivy league, and Stanford, although not Ivy, has the same reputation if not a better one.

   The first school I heard from was the University of Washington, which rejected me flat-out–they didn’t even wait-list me! At that point, I felt dejected and thought that it would be best to start applying for entry-level jobs because my future as a graduate student was looking dim.

   Then, last night, after waking up from a little nap, I checked my email for the eight billionth time that day hoping that another school had contacted me about their decision. It was just out of habit, and I didn’t really expect to hear anything, but I did. I got the biggest news since graduating from the program:

   I was accepted to STANFORD UNIVERSITY.

   I was stunned–absolutely floored. I couldn’t believe it! If a state school didn’t want me, how could a school with space for only 15 students in their graduate program each year decide to admit me?

   Writing this now still seems surreal. It is just preposterous. I went from a fat, meth-head dropout to a graduate student at Stanford. It’s like a corny Disney movie, and Hilary Duff should be playing me in a “rags-to-riches” sort of cliched scenario.

   But it is real. It is.

   And although I know many of you think Ron typed this up in his office as a motivational speech, he didn’t. I am telling you straight from my heart that I owe it to the combination of my willingness and openness to the program and to the program’s overwhelmingly miraculous recovery process.

   This isn’t my story. This is our story. You all and me. My heart is sitting in Ron meeting listening to this and being somewhat inspired and somewhat disbelieving.

   But this is at the fingertips of every one of us who has been in the program. It is up for grabs, and there is no space limit–everyone is welcome to a piece of this metaphorical pie.

   From every fiber of my being, I am praying that each one of you opens yourself to the possibilities the program has to offer. They are diverse and plentiful and yours for the taking.

   To the staff, I want to thank you for continuing to contribute to the lives of the students at CC. Your kindness, understanding, high-standards, and life experience filled my life for two years. Your presence inspires students to think about the possibilities that lie beyond the walls of Cross Creek. Each of your personal experiences, knowledge, and personalities serve as a launching pad for students’ imaginings of what their lives are to become after they leave Cross Creek, so thank you. Thank you for being there to spark my dreams of success and for continuing to do so for the students who are longing for a happier, healthier lives.

   I love and miss the program every day. It is part of my everyday discussions, feelings, thoughts, and dreams, and it remains to be the most amazing and important part of my life to date.

   Please, live well and happily.

   Whitney Mountain (G and M-Groups; June, 2005 to February, 2007)

   WhitneyErinMountain@gmail.com

2. Jeni, on February 22nd, 2010 at 12:36 pm Said:

   Whitney, thank you for being willing to share your success with us and others. Way to go and congratulations on your choice to use your tools. Jeni

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