Cross Creek Blogs

My name is Brett and I am an addict. Before I came to Cross Creek, my whole life revolved around drugs. Drugs are all I thought about, it is how I got through my day, and it is what I lived for. Inside I was miserable. It felt like there was a huge hole inside of me and to fill up that hole, I used drugs. The hole never got filled up - I was addicted.

I believed it was hopeless to try and do something about addiction. My belief was that I was going to use drugs and live like this for the rest of my life. I had no respect for myself or anyone around me, especially my parents. I was tremendously disrespectful to them and even got physical with my dad. I would fee bad and guilty for the way I treated them, but the way I dealt with my guilt and shame was to numb my feelings through drugs and alcohol, that way I didn’t have to feel the weight of my shame I was carrying with me.

My addiction started with marijuana. My famous line was “but it is all natural” so it cannot hurt you. However, using pot lead to other drugs and before coming to Cross Creek I was doing very poorly. When I finally came to Cross Creek, it took me awhile to get adjusted to being here, but I knew I was safe. I knew I needed a place like this to stay alive.

I have confidence now and feel good about myself. I actually have a purpose in my life, and I am close to going home after 16 months in the program. I am actively involved in the NA program, which is helping my sobriety. My parents and I get along and our relationship is working. I have dreams of the future and I have finished requirements for High School graduation while in the program. I also am working in the kitchen paying back some of what my parents have paid to keep me here this long.

I still have bad days and my issues come up, but Cross Creek has taught me how to deal with them.

BRETT H.

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CROSS CREEK PROGRAMS

Posted on December 21st, 2007 by admin
Filed under: STUDENTS