Cross Creek Blogs

This is stupid, I hate you, you don’t know me! Where’ s the party at?  That was me before the program.  I hated everything that was going to make me happy and I didn’t want any one that would interfere with it.  I am Sophia L. from Cross Creek Programs.

I just wanted to start of by saying it’s an amazing privilege to be able to give this speech for the class of 2007.  I know for me, I  thought I would never be here.  I was the same as some of the people here.  I dropped out of school because I felt like I couldn’t do it.  When I was little, I had all these dreams of becoming a nurse, being happy and having my family around.  As I got older my parents didn’t know hoe to protect me from all the outside influences, so all they thought of was to keep me in.  I didn’t like this and my first response was to rebel. I started getting sexually active, started smoking cigarettes, doing drugs, and I was in a crowd of people that would take me in.  This didn’t every stop me from having my dreams though.  I still had dreams of going to college, having a family I loved and being happy.  The downside to my dreams was in my freshman year I started to run away, drop out of school and was active in my addiction.  I was in a relationship with a guy that would hit me and then tell me he loved me;  I kept telling myself this was the best I could have.  He was 5 years older than me and I told myself we would be together forever.  Then one day, my ex-boyfriend and I got in a fight and I went to Roseville, California to see a friend of mine that I had known since I was little.  I was there about two days when I heard a knock on the door, it was the police.

When my parents finally found me two and a half months later, they sent me to an Acheivement Academy.  I remember getting there and thinking my parents were lying and would bring me home, but they didn’t.  It was a program where I basically learned how to cover up all the stuff I was feeling.  It was a lot of mechanics.  I had been clean in the past when “attempting” to get my life back together.  I lied to the camp staff.  I would always get caught in my lies.  Two months into being at this wilderness camp I decided to try being honest about how I felt.  My therapist there wanted to know what I was thinking, so I told her even though my ex-boyfriend was a jerk I still wanted to be with him.  The biggest thing about that was I thought I could never have a better relationship or have anything better in my life.  They decided since I was being honest and was finally doing some work, I could advance in my program.  About half a month later I was ready to graduate.  When I went to the graduation my parents were there and we spent two days out in the wilderness.  One thing I remember them asking me, that was a hug turning point, was if I was ready to come home.  At first I wanted to lie and say yes, I am ready to come home and I will great and all that great stuff.  But I knew I would be lying so I told them no.  I knew at that point I still wanted all the old people and all the old things.

The day of the graduation I went and took a nice shower, then my parents and I went out to the front of the program office.  There were two escorts waiting for me.  On the drive I asked them about where they were taking me.  They said they were taking me to Cross Creek Center.  it was about a six month program that went really easy and I could do it fast and be home.  That was wrong.  When I got to Cross Creek i was in my freshman year for the third time and they told me to just do as much as I could.  At first I didn’t want to do a whole lot of school, but then I made a goal to graduate with all four years done.  There were a lot of people in my group that told me it was impossible and I couldn’t do it but I held on to my dream of going to college.  I kept pushing.  During this time I started to go through the seminars and started to see what I was truly capable of.  I went through Discovery three months after being there and two months later I went through Focus.  It was one of the most amazing experience of my life.  I never thought I could be so beautiful and I could feel so great about myself, inside and out.

After Focus I hit a wall.  There were some things I just wasn’t being honest about and I basically wanted to weren’t that big.  But the truth of the matter was I wasn’t clean in my program.  Ron Garret, the program director, could tell there was something I was not being honest with so he came in and confronted me.  I ended up coming clean with everything that I had been lying about.  I remember talking to my Mom and Dad and thinking that they would be mad at me.  When I talked to them on the phone the only thing my Mom said to me was she was happy I came clean with everything because she didn’t send me to Cross Creek because I was perfect.  It hit me then, I had to do this program for me.  After I got off staff buddy I went to Principles and that was a great experience.  After that I started progressing, it felt a lot better to see how I could do it in a more positive and honest light.  I still had my struggles going on, but it was so great because I don’t think I would be where I am today without all the struggles.  In August I was scheduled to graduate then my mom and therapist, Brian Parker, asked me if I would stay two months to finish my program because I had so many more learning experience for myself.  I never thought I would be here and I have to say for all the people here, we have finished the biggest accomplishment of our lives and now starting a new journey.  It may look very different for us but we all are headed to our dreams!

SOPHIA L.

GRADUATED CROSS CREEK PROGRAMS

HONOR GRADUATE

Posted on December 21st, 2007 by Jeni
Filed under: STUDENTS